Hi Reader,

Sweetness and niceness are values I grew up learning. It was always best to be easy to agree with, easy to accommodate, and easy to talk to, no matter how I felt. That meant that I was also easy to disappoint without consequence.

Does this sound familiar?

You were probably so good at being nice that you didn't even realize you were doing it. It just felt like being a person.

And then something shifted. It happens around mid-30s from my experience.

Maybe it was gradual or maybe something snapped into place like another one of those damn Legos on your floor from when your kids were little. No matter how it happened, you started noticing the things you'd been nice about and absorbing:

• Comments you let slide
• Needs you buried
• Apologies you handed out automatically and like they were spare change

And you simply stopped being nice about it all (or at least started to stop being nice all the time).

It was probably around this time that a little voice showed up: "Am I being too much? Am I being too rigid? Am I becoming difficult? Am I being...a...bitch?"

Here's what I want you to hear: You are not becoming difficult (or a bitch, for that matter!).

You're becoming a woman who tells the truth and is no longer performing for everyone in the room at the expense of your own happiness.

You're becoming a person who finally got tired enough (and brave enough) to stop pretending the dynamic was working for you when it wasn't.

You, my friend, were being honest with yourself and those around you.

The conditioning is so deep that honesty feels like a crime the first hundred times you do it. Every boundary feels like a betrayal to someone else and every "no" feels like it needs three paragraphs of an explanation and a formal apology to go with it.

It doesn't, though.

The people in your life who love and can handle the real you are going to be just fine. In fact, they might be even better than fine, because they get to finally meet the REAL you.

The ones who end up butthurt over it can take a hike. They're probably the folks who took advantage of your niceness and relied on you to hold things together while they were out galivanting and living their lives.

You're not falling apart. You're not becoming a bitch. You're not difficult.

You're simply done holding it all together for everyone else and it's your turn to come first.

I hope you're having a good week. You got this! 💜

xoxo,
Megan

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